I’m proud of me. Yup, I sure am. I’m proud of myself.
At the close of the year I like to reflect back upon it and how I lived. I don’t really set New Year’s resolutions or goals per se but I do set intentions. Things that I want to work on overtime. These items are usually ongoing and don’t have a finish date which is why I set them apart from being goals. However, they end up being the priority for that year.
At the beginning of 2012, my greatest intention was to work on my resistance. I wanted to first fully own it. Admit to myself that I can be resistant in many circumstances. Ironically, I resisted that I am resistant for a long time, ha! I then wanted to catch myself when I was being resistant so I could make a different choice. I decided to focus on the word curiosity. I was going to look at things with curiousity which would help me open up and be less resistant. This was my intention and affirmation, “My curiosity leads me into alignment with my highest good.”Posted on December 31, 2012 by Keli · 0 comments Read More
Outline of my first Past Life regression:
Took place over 2 hypnosis sessions
Therapist (JF) directed more questions in acutality than stated below.
Image – Means a clear quick flash
[My Present conscience having thoughts and connections to past life]
January 26, 2011
Open door into Forest – eastern looking forest
I’m calm and content
Small dirt path with pine leaves
Sound of war planes over head flying in opposite direction
It shakes everything around me, I am now frightened
I’m not sure which way I want to go, forward or back
I sit and wait
I’m wearing feminine looking Birkenstock sandals
JF – What year is it?
Image – 42, 1942
I realize I’m wearing a simple gold wedding band
JF – Where’s your husband?
Image – I see him pacing inside a house, a kitchen
He’s angry and worried
He’s tall with dark hair, lanky frame – face isn’t clear
JF – How do you feel about him?
He feels like a stranger
Like I was forced to marry him
Not an arranged marriage, but feels like I didn’t have much of a choice
I want to move forward on the path away from the house
But feel I must go back
I reach the door
Husband starts yelling at me
Where the hell have you been? You know you can’t go out? What are you doing?
I don’t want to argue, I just look at him
My fear fades and I feel compliant
I concede and say I’ll go laydown
Just then I realize I’m pregnant – I’m supposed to be on bed rest
I now know why he is angry
I’m 3-4 months along
I feel utterly alone and trapped
This feeling is so empty
[This feeling is something I don’t remember ever feeling yet can relate to it on some level]
I feel I have no one- no family, no friends, nothing but my stranger of a husband
JF-Go forward to the next significant event in this life
I quickly see a closeup image of a baby screaming
Covered in birthing fluid
Doctor holding ‘him’ – it’s a boy and he’s mine
JF – How do you feel about your baby
I am relieved that labor is over, but feel very out of it.
I’m in a hospital, but nothing is familiar
I keep going in an out, I feel drugged, not coherent
My husband is there, he is happy
People are rushing around, nothing is making sense to me
They usher him out of the room
I am hemorrhaging
JF-Ok, with no pain, let’s move to the day of your death
I can’t see it – I can’t get there
JF – How old is your child when you die?
I see him playing in they yard
I’m in my bed looking out the window
He’s 2.5 or 3
Closer to 2.5
He’s got sandy brown hair in a bowl cut
He’s a happy kid, has a joyful, sweet spirit
I’m sick, really sick
I’ve been sick for as long as I can remember
I’m sad because I’ve been in bed all these years
I’ve not been able to raise my son
I feel guilty
I’ve been locked ‘inside’ looking out
My husband is kind, but he annoys me, I don’t know why
My son brings me things – flowers, sticks, rocks, things he makes me
He loves me, I love him, but I can’t give him all the attention he needs
I die I am around 24 years old
February 2, 2011
Not under hypnosis yet.
I questioned if the experience was real. It felt more dreamlike than what I had read about. My therapist asked me if I would have imagined or written a story like that? No, was my answer simply. I asked her, so you think it was real? She said, Oh yah, with such certainty. She’s been doing this a while.
After some analysis over the last week, I was confused with why I was sick for 2.5 years.
I knew there were some complications from hemorrhaging but something was missing. It’s not what I died from, I knew that much intuitively. We went back to see what happened.
JF-Close your eyes. Let’s go back to when you first felt sick and were diagnosed.
I’m in and out of doctor’s offices – lots of tests – they don’t know what is wrong
[Image – The word Cancer]
Doctors don’t know what is – they don’t know how to treat me
It’s somewhere in my pelvic region
The pain is all over there and I don’t know specifically where it is
I realize I’ve been married for about a year, not pregnant yet
I quickly realize this is what killed me.
I understand why I was on bed rest
My body was weak and it’s partly why I hemorrhaged.
I progressively got sicker from the beginning and ultimately it took my life
JF- Let’s go back to when you were a child, what do you see?
First vision is seeing it from above, it’s a large room
Lots of beds and lots of children
It’s an orphanage
Then perspective zooms in and I’m seeing through the eyes of one of the children
I’m an orphan [I am shocked – my present day awareness of this realization]
JF-How do you become an orphan?
I don’t know I feel like I’ve been here a long time
JF-Let’s go back to your birth, no pain – you are born, cleaned, measured, weighed and wrapped in a blanket, where’s is your mother – where’s is that familiar heartbeat?
I can feel myself swaddled
When she says heartbeat, I realize I’m looking for it, where is it?
I feel panicked and afraid – there is no heart beat – no mother
JF- Do you learn ever learn how or why you became an orphan?
I don’t think I ever learn the truth per se, but feel as though I wasn’t wanted
That’s what I grew up feeling
JF-Were you adopted or did you grow up in the orphanage?
Quick scan of complete childhood
I grew up in the orphanage
I lived and went to school there
One location all those many years
I play with the kids but feel really alone
I don’t connect strongly with any of them
JF – How do you feel about your caretakers?
Image – 4 women of different ages flash in front of me
They are nice women, kind, they do what they can do
There are so many of us
JF – What do you mean by that?
They’re isn’t enough of them to give us all a lot of love
JF – Let’s move forward…
Wait – this one caretaker is drawing my attention
She’s young – 20s – Short bobbed brown hair, slim, pretty
I’m sitting with the feeling I’m getting from her
She’s sad she can’t give me all the love she wants to
There is a strong connection there
There is s knowing sense between us that it’s all good
I send her energy to say, it’s ok, I know you love me and I love you, it’s all ok
JF – Do you recognize her from this life, is it someone you know?
I try to look into her eyes [this is where I’ve read most people ‘recognize’ people in their past lives]
Her face isn’t clear
JF – Don’t worry about her face, what about her energy, her spirit
Instantly I knew it was Mayra
It’s Mayra, my best friend who passed
Tears are rolling down my face
[OMG, it’s Mayra, she’s my caretaker, just like she was in my current life]
As this was happening, I connected back with her energy from then and it felt like she was present, like I was connecting with her ‘now’
I don’t know if I was or if it was just memory
JF – Let’s move ahead to ….
Wait, I need to stay here a moment longer…
We smiled at each other with that knowing love I knew from my present life
I sat in the under current of the connection we’ve always had
I couldn’t believe it, I was in awe, my heart so full
JF – Let’s move forward to when you meet your husband
I am somewhat distracted by my experience with Mayra
It takes me a moment to re-focus
I see him in a park
I’m with a friend
There aren’t many details
JF- Are you still living at the orphanage?
Ahhh, he is my way out
That’s why I marry him
JF – You’re way out of what?
He’s nice to me, I think that’s all that’s important right?
It won’t be bad if he’s nice to me
I don’t know what marriage or love is supposed to look like
I realize my marriage was a choice but one I felt out of necessity
JF- Let’ move back to the end of this lifetime. No pain, you’ve already died and are having a life review. What do you learn from this lifetime that you need to take to the next?
That I spent this whole life feeling really alone and that actually I’m never alone
That I didn’t connect with people and that I need to let people in
JF – How do you let people in?
By listening and giving
I need to learn to love and accept love
JF – Ok, let’s heal now and open up to feeling God’s love and knowing you’re never alone. Let your heart expand and full with this loving presence
As I focused on the walk through visual JF was giving me I could feel all this light and love around me
Slowly I felt multiple presences coming out of the light I was envisioning
I quickly ‘knew’ that many many spirts love me from afar and hear on earth
I am never alone
Then she came forward
Mayra was there
She wasn’t in full body, just her energy coming from one of the forms of light
She was smiling and her love was HUGE
I asked her deep from within [I didn’t feel like I formulated the question, yet it was there]
How are you?
Mayra – Oh Kel, I’m wonderful. It’s amazing, I’m learning so much [answered in an instant]
Me – I love you so much
Mayra – I know, I love you too, all of you
Me – I knew the ‘all of you’ meant all of her loved ones
I don’t know how long it was but there was just this exchange of love and feeling each others presence and knowing everything was all good
She and then the other presences slowly faded back to one main light being
JF – I’m going to bring you back now and you will remember everything…
I ‘awoke’ with a stare and shock at what I just experienced
I was speechlessPosted on February 6, 2011 by Keli · 1 comment Read More
“Our brains mathematically construct objective reality by interpreting frequencies that are ultimately projections from a deeper order of existence that is beyond space and time – the brain is a hologram engulfed in a holographic universe.”Posted on November 16, 2010 by Keli · 0 comments Read More
This is a powerful video that talks about the energy source of life and creation. How we have control to choose what we want our lives to be like. I’m being bombarded with this message from many sides. I’m in the process of testing it out, changing my thoughts, visualizing what I want instead of what I don’t want, and becoming more self-aware. Thank you Dr. Dyer for all your work.
Posted on November 15, 2010 by Keli · 0 comments Read More
I have been dabbling in Intuition and trying to figure out how to tap into mine as I feel this is the heart of where my higher-self and where guidance from above comes from. By dabbling, I’ve been reading about what Intuition is and have come to experience it as a ‘knowing.” I know my intuition is at work all the time, but I am not fully aware yet how and in what ways. I also know that I can practice tapping into this channel of energy through being still and relaxed.
One thing I’ve noticed is that things come to me in the forms of questions and answers – words. I get caught up in thinking that if things are coming to me as words then it is just my mind and not my intuition. I said to my therapist the other day, I really want to learn how to FEEL this stuff. I want to tap into that side of me; ‘know’ it by feeling it. I want this to help me develop into a more loving compassionate person.
Words just came to me…”You must first learn how to not take on other’s energy.”
I’m processing this. I tend to analyze and seek to understand the connections behind the words that come to me. My first thoughts – how cool to have those words come to me while I’m typing something completely different – the divine speaking to me and then me being aware of it. :) I don’t quite understand the meaning fully but I know that I can easily take on the emotions of someone else. Even with this ability, I have a hard time being a true empath. Even in the moment of taking on those emotions, I’m unable to really understand and act as if I know what it’s like to be in their shoes. So if they are sad, I can feel my energy go lower and my mood change yet my actions are not ones of understanding and compassion to their needs. Perhaps taking on that lower energy doesn’t allow me to come from a balanced energy to really respond to their needs. Hmm…this is a good one for a therapy session.
I feel those words though are saying before I can really learn how to feel the stuff with my intuition, I must learn not to absorb other’s energies into my body. Not sure how these are related but in time I will.
I must tell you that as I write this post I feel I’m being guided. I love the spiritual world. It’s filled with so many things that will continue to wow me and encourage me to continue digging deeper.
So this post is titled Mental Intuitive. I planned on sitting down and briefly sharing that my dabbling in intuition has led me to the book “Discover your Psychic Type.” Sherrie Dillard tells us that although we can access intuition through a variety of ways, we tend to naturally receive it more often in one or two forms out of the four. The intuitives are Mental, Spiritual, Emotional, Physical. By understanding what our natural tendency is, this can help us learn how to receive and become aware of our intuitive messages. After taking a short test, I’ve learned that I’m a Mental Intuitive followed by Spiritual. As I read how the Mental Intuitive works, I laughed aloud a few times. Sometimes I feel like someone is playing a joke on me as I read the intimate details about myself that ring true. One thing about the Mental Intuitive is the need to understand, explain, and piece together. As noted above, I received a message and immediately went into dissection mode. It isn’t my natural tendency to ‘feel’ it and just sit with it like an Emotional Intuitive would.
I’m excited to read more about the Mental Intuitive so I can strengthen my first gift and let that lead me to strengthening the others.
Feeling grateful for connections into this very real place.
Posted on November 2, 2010 by Keli · 0 comments Read More