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2012 Reflections

I’m proud of me. Yup, I sure am. I’m proud of myself.

At the close of the year I like to reflect back upon it and how I lived. I don’t really set New Year’s resolutions or goals per se but I do set intentions. Things that I want to work on overtime. These items are usually ongoing and don’t have a finish date which is why I set them apart from being goals. However, they end up being the priority for that year.

At the beginning of 2012, my greatest intention was to work on my resistance. I wanted to first fully own it. Admit to myself that I can be resistant in many circumstances. Ironically, I resisted that I am resistant for a long time, ha! I then wanted to catch myself when I was being resistant so I could make a different choice. I decided to focus on the word curiosity. I was going to look at things with curiousity which would help me open up and be less resistant.  This was my intention and affirmation, “My curiosity leads me into alignment with my highest good.”

Posted on December 31, 2012 by Keli · 0 comments Read More
words unfolding

Past Life Regression – 1942

Outline of my first Past Life regression:
1921-1945ish

Took place over 2 hypnosis sessions
Therapist (JF) directed more questions in acutality than stated below.
Image – Means a clear quick flash
[My Present conscience having thoughts and connections to past life]

January 26, 2011

Open door into Forest – eastern looking forest

I’m calm and content

Small dirt path with pine leaves

I’m walking

Sound of war planes over head flying in opposite direction

It shakes everything around me, I am now frightened

I’m not sure which way I want to go, forward or back

I sit and wait

I’m wearing feminine looking Birkenstock sandals

JF – What year is it?

Image – 42, 1942

I realize I’m wearing a simple gold wedding band

I’m married

JF – Where’s your husband?

Pause

Image – I see him pacing inside a house, a kitchen

He’s angry and worried

He’s tall with dark hair, lanky frame – face isn’t clear

JF – How do you feel about him?

He feels like a stranger

Like I was forced to marry him

Not an arranged marriage, but feels like I didn’t have much of a choice

I want to move forward on the path away from the house

But feel I must go back

I’m scared

I reach the door

Husband starts yelling at me

Where the hell have you been? You know you can’t go out? What are you doing?

I don’t want to argue, I just look at him

My fear fades and I feel compliant

I concede and say I’ll go laydown

Just then I realize I’m pregnant – I’m supposed to be on bed rest

I now know why he is angry

I’m 3-4 months along

I feel utterly alone and trapped

This feeling is so empty

[This feeling is something I don’t remember ever feeling yet can relate to it on some level]

I feel I have no one- no family, no friends, nothing but my stranger of a husband

JF-Go forward to the next significant event in this life

I quickly see a closeup image of a baby screaming

Covered in birthing fluid

Doctor holding ‘him’ – it’s a boy and he’s mine

JF – How do you feel about your baby

I am relieved that labor is over, but feel very out of it.

I’m in a hospital, but nothing is familiar

I keep going in an out, I feel drugged, not coherent

My husband is there, he is happy

People are rushing around, nothing is making sense to me

They usher him out of the room

I am hemorrhaging

JF-Ok, with no pain, let’s move to the day of your death

I can’t see it – I can’t get there

JF – How old is your child when you die?

I see him playing in they yard

I’m in my bed looking out the window

He’s 2.5 or 3

Closer to 2.5

He’s got sandy brown hair in a bowl cut

Brown eyes

He’s a happy kid, has a joyful, sweet spirit

I’m sick, really sick

I’ve been sick for as long as I can remember

I’m sad because I’ve been in bed all these years

I’ve not been able to raise my son

I feel guilty

I’ve been locked ‘inside’ looking out

My husband is kind, but he annoys me, I don’t know why

My son brings me things – flowers, sticks, rocks, things he makes me

He loves me, I love him, but I can’t give him all the attention he needs

I die I am around 24 years old

February 2, 2011

Not under hypnosis yet.

I questioned if the experience was real. It felt more dreamlike than what I had read about. My therapist asked me if I would have imagined or written a story like that? No, was my answer simply. I asked her, so you think it was real? She said, Oh yah, with such certainty. She’s been doing this a while.

After some analysis over the last week, I was confused with why I was sick for 2.5 years.

I knew there were some complications from hemorrhaging but something was missing. It’s not what I died from, I knew that much intuitively. We went back to see what happened.

JF-Close your eyes. Let’s go back to when you first felt sick and were diagnosed.

I’m in and out of doctor’s offices – lots of tests – they don’t know what is wrong

[Image – The word Cancer]

Doctors don’t know what is – they don’t know how to treat me

It’s somewhere in my pelvic region

The pain is all over there and I don’t know specifically where it is

I realize I’ve been married for about a year, not pregnant yet

I quickly realize this is what killed me.

I understand why I was on bed rest

My body was weak and it’s partly why I hemorrhaged.

I progressively got sicker from the beginning and ultimately it took my life

JF- Let’s go back to when you were a child, what do you see?

First vision is seeing it from above, it’s a large room

Lots of beds and lots of children

It’s an orphanage

Then perspective zooms in and I’m seeing through the eyes of one of the children

I’m an orphan [I am shocked – my present day awareness of this realization]

JF-How do you become an orphan?

I don’t know I feel like I’ve been here a long time

JF-Let’s go back to your birth, no pain – you are born, cleaned, measured, weighed and wrapped in a blanket, where’s is your mother – where’s is that familiar heartbeat?

I can feel myself swaddled

When she says heartbeat, I realize I’m looking for it, where is it?

I feel panicked and afraid – there is no heart beat – no mother

 JF- Do you learn ever learn how or why you became an orphan?

I don’t think I ever learn the truth per se, but feel as though I wasn’t wanted

That’s what I grew up feeling

JF-Were you adopted or did you grow up in the orphanage?

Quick scan of complete childhood

I grew up in the orphanage

I lived and went to school there

One location all those many years

I play with the kids but feel really alone

I don’t connect strongly with any of them

JF – How do you feel about your caretakers?

Image – 4 women of different ages flash in front of me

They are nice women, kind, they do what they can do

There are so many of us

JF – What do you mean by that?

They’re isn’t enough of them to give us all a lot of love

JF – Let’s move forward…

Wait – this one caretaker is drawing my attention

She’s young – 20s – Short bobbed brown hair, slim, pretty

I’m sitting with the feeling I’m getting from her

She’s sad she can’t give me all the love she wants to

There is a strong connection there

There is s knowing sense between us that it’s all good

I send her energy to say, it’s ok, I know you love me and I love you, it’s all ok

JF – Do you recognize her from this life, is it someone you know?

I try to look into her eyes [this is where I’ve read most people ‘recognize’ people in their past lives]

Her face isn’t clear

JF – Don’t worry about her face, what about her energy, her spirit

Instantly I knew it was Mayra

It’s Mayra, my best friend who passed

Tears are rolling down my face

[OMG, it’s Mayra, she’s my caretaker, just like she was in my current life]

As this was happening, I connected back with her energy from then and it felt like she was present, like I was connecting with her ‘now’

I don’t know if I was or if it was just memory

JF – Let’s move ahead to ….

Wait, I need to stay here a moment longer…

We smiled at each other with that knowing love I knew from my present life

I sat in the under current of the connection we’ve always had

I couldn’t believe it, I was in awe, my heart so full

JF – Let’s move forward to when you meet your husband

I am somewhat distracted by my experience with Mayra

It takes me a moment to re-focus

I see him in a park

I’m with a friend

There aren’t many details

JF- Are you still living at the orphanage?

Yes

Ahhh, he is my way out

That’s why I marry him

JF – You’re way out of what?

The orphanage

He’s nice to me, I think that’s all that’s important right?

It won’t be bad if he’s nice to me

I don’t know what marriage or love is supposed to look like

I realize my marriage was a choice but one I felt out of necessity

JF- Let’ move back to the end of this lifetime. No pain, you’ve already died and are having a life review. What do you learn from this lifetime that you need to take to the next?

That I spent this whole life feeling really alone and that actually I’m never alone

That I didn’t connect with people and that I need to let people in

JF – How do you let people in?

By listening and giving

I need to learn to love and accept love

JF – Ok, let’s heal now and open up to feeling God’s love and knowing you’re never alone. Let your heart expand and full with this loving presence

As I focused on the walk through visual JF was giving me I could feel all this light and love around me

Slowly I felt multiple presences coming out of the light I was envisioning

I quickly ‘knew’ that many many spirts love me from afar and hear on earth

I am never alone

Then she came forward

Mayra was there

She wasn’t in full body, just her energy coming from one of the forms of light

She was smiling and her love was HUGE

I asked her deep from within [I didn’t feel like I formulated the question, yet it was there]

How are you?

Mayra – Oh Kel, I’m wonderful. It’s amazing, I’m learning so much [answered in an instant]

Me – I love you so much

Mayra – I know, I love you too, all of you

Me – I knew the ‘all of you’ meant all of her loved ones

I don’t know how long it was but there was just this exchange of love and feeling each others presence and knowing everything was all good

She and then the other presences slowly faded back to one main light being

JF – I’m going to bring you back now and you will remember everything…

I ‘awoke’ with a stare and shock at what I just experienced

I was speechless

Posted on February 6, 2011 by Keli · 1 comment Read More
words unfolding

Power of Intent – Dr. Wayne Dyer

This is a powerful video that talks about the energy source of life and creation. How we have control to choose what we want our lives to be like. I’m being bombarded with this message from many sides. I’m in the process of testing it out, changing my thoughts, visualizing what I want instead of what I don’t want, and becoming more self-aware. Thank you Dr. Dyer for all your work. 

 

Posted on November 15, 2010 by Keli · 0 comments Read More
words unfolding

Mental Intuitive

I have been dabbling in Intuition and trying to figure out how to tap into mine as I feel this is the heart of where my higher-self and where guidance from above comes from. By dabbling, I’ve been reading about what Intuition is and have come to experience it as a ‘knowing.” I know my intuition is at work all the time, but I am not fully aware yet how and in what ways. I also know that I can practice tapping into this channel of energy through being still and relaxed.

One thing I’ve noticed is that things come to me in the forms of questions and answers – words. I get caught up in thinking that if things are coming to me as words then it is just my mind and not my intuition. I said to my therapist the other day, I really want to learn how to FEEL this stuff. I want to tap into that side of me; ‘know’ it by feeling it. I want this to help me develop into a more loving compassionate person. 

Words just came to me…”You must first learn how to not take on other’s energy.”  

I’m processing this. I tend to analyze and seek to understand the connections behind the words that come to me. My first thoughts – how cool to have those words come to me while I’m typing something completely different – the divine speaking to me and then me being aware of it. :) I don’t quite understand the meaning fully but I know that I can easily take on the emotions of someone else. Even with this ability, I have a hard time being a true empath. Even in the moment of taking on those emotions, I’m unable to really understand and act as if I know what it’s like to be in their shoes. So if they are sad, I can feel my energy go lower and my mood change yet my actions are not ones of understanding and compassion to their needs. Perhaps taking on that lower energy doesn’t allow me to come from a balanced energy to really respond to their needs. Hmm…this is a good one for a therapy session.

I feel those words though are saying before I can really learn how to feel the stuff with my intuition, I must learn not to absorb other’s energies into my body. Not sure how these are related but in time I will. 

I must tell you that as I write this post I feel I’m being guided. I love the spiritual world. It’s filled with so many things that will continue to wow me and encourage me to continue digging deeper.

—-

So this post is titled Mental Intuitive. I planned on sitting down and briefly sharing that my dabbling in intuition has led me to the book “Discover your Psychic Type.” Sherrie Dillard tells us that although we can access intuition through a variety of ways, we tend to naturally receive it more often in one or two forms out of the four. The intuitives are Mental, Spiritual, Emotional, Physical. By understanding what our natural tendency is, this can help us learn how to receive and become aware of our intuitive messages. After taking a short test, I’ve learned that I’m a Mental Intuitive followed by Spiritual. As I read how the Mental Intuitive works, I laughed aloud a few times. Sometimes I feel like someone is playing a joke on me as I read the intimate details about myself that ring true. One thing about the Mental Intuitive is the need to understand, explain, and piece together. As noted above, I received a message and immediately went into dissection mode. It isn’t my natural tendency to ‘feel’ it and just sit with it like an Emotional Intuitive would. 

I’m excited to read more about the Mental Intuitive so I can strengthen my first gift and let that lead me to strengthening the others.

Feeling grateful for connections into this very real place. 

 

Posted on November 2, 2010 by Keli · 0 comments Read More