stillness

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stillness

I am not this pain

It happened in a dream…

I was at a Dr.’s office preparing for some sort of big test. I don’t recall what the test was or what my symptoms leading to said test were either. But prior to the test they had to take blood an apparently a lot of it. Having my blood taken is generally a painful and sickening ordeal for me. It physically hurts as the blood leaves my body through the needle and down a tube. My blood pressure also drops significantly making me feel woozy and sick to my stomach.

So I’m at this Dr.’s office, with my friend’s baby and he’s sleeping in my arms. I’m doing my best to stay calm as I’m about to get pricked and I don’t want to frighten and wake the babe. I set him next to me wrapped up sound asleep and the process begins.

All the normal things begin happening… the pain, nausea, woozy. Time slows down… do they have enough? Geez, how much longer. Ugh, I feel so sick and it fucking hurts. It literally feels like they are draining the life force out of me.

Posted on February 11, 2018 by Keli · 0 comments Read More