Just Like That

I think about you a lot and lately I’ve been missing you. Feels strange that poof, you’re out of my life. Besides people I’ve lost through death, I’ve never experienced this, it’s all new to me. Sometimes I wonder, am I attached, what is it that I think about, what is it that I miss? 

I enjoyed you, yet was so sad. I wanted to be all that I could be and all that you wanted, yet often felt like I was walking on egg shells. I don’t understand the point of longing for something to be that just wasn’t and isn’t. 

I sometimes close my eyes and often feel our energy all entangled. I then visualize slowly unwrapping the cords that keep us linked and walk away from you. I want it to be a solid goodbye. A sort of, please, let you be you and me be me, without any wanting. 

 

Ahh yes, I fell in love quickly, but it hasn’t been the first time with you. I had my heart-broken then and now I’m not sure what it is a feel. Why did our souls have to meet again? I don’t feel we have resolved our mission and perhaps now is not the time.

I don’t want to be with you but want to feel that you approve of me. That I’m worthy of your time and energy. But why? Why do I want this from you? I know that I am worthy and if someone doesn’t want to spend time with me, why do I feel I need that acceptance. 

I don’t like the feeling of unfinished business. There are these tails attached. Pieces of the cords I somehow missed. What am I missing to move on? What do I need to know or heal? 

I’m learning to forgive – letting go of the hope that it could have been any different. 

I don’t want to feel the need of acceptance from anyone.

You were always out of my reach…a familiar stranger that would lie next to me. 

Perhaps my soul just longs for connection and true intimate love…it’s been so long. I fell in love with my ideal you/us and have always just wanted it to become real. 

I will continue to untangle our energy web the best way I know how and part ways asking for loving spirit to feed our souls. I truly do wish the best for you. 

Published by Keli Keach

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