Archive

for March, 2011

words unfolding

Revelation

I want to help elevate people’s lives by understanding their past lives and souls purpose. I want to do this work with the help of guides. I want to help children. Help their parents guide them and encourage them. I feel Ainslie MacLeod is my guide. I’ve never met him or heard of him until today. I saw a link on a facebook page from someone else I just added a few days ago. He is speaking tonight about his book at a bookshop. I am going to go. My work will have to do with reicarnation and children. Just like my first insight that day. I am not going to worry about how I will work with guides, it will come when I am ready. I am going to start manifesting my perfect job which includes me being an intuitive. I am psychic. I am a healer.I write this as acceptance. My body and mind already wants to pull away and build barriers. I’m cancelling them out.

Sitting in a coffee shop (El Diablo in Queen Anne) while the sun falls on my face. 

Posted on March 25, 2011 by Keli · 0 comments Read More
words unfolding

In a Funk

Since I’ve returned from my trip ‘home,’ I’ve been feeling really blah most days. Sort of like walking around like a zombie. I don’t want to read, write, workout, walk, etc. I have my bouts of anger and frustrations with my breakup and working through those are taking me a little longer than they were a few weeks ago. I’m also so tired these days, I just want to sleep sleep sleep. My eating is off as I’m still trying to figure out what food is healthy for my body and acceptable to my heart and mind. 

Someone asked me last night if I’m feeling a little depressed. My first reaction was no I don’t think so, but then I thought about it. The symptoms are textbook, but I also know that I’ve not been eating well, taking my vitamins, or working out. Lack of all those could lead to being depressed and being depressed could lead to the lack of motivation to do those things. 

So, awareness is first right? I’m not going to allow myself to sleep late or take naps right now and I’m going to put myself on a regular sleeping schedule to get my 8 hrs. a night minimum. I’ve already started my round of vitamins and now that I have some new ones that don’t make me sick that should help. I’ve also increased my vitamin D intake, as I already know from a test it’s low. I’m going to also start moving my body a few times a week to get the blood kicking again to wake my ass up. 

I get frustrated when I’m in zones like this. I’ve known them on and off for as long as I can remember. I’m indecisive and feel really lazy when I’m in them. 

I saw Dr. Maya Angelou speak last night and thought about how inspirational she is. How at 82 she just keeps on creating, doing, acting, being. She was amazing. 

I’m so fortunate and have a very blessed life. Japan is going through such a horrible tragedy right now and it adds to my, what the hell is up with you Keach attitude. I feel like I should be walking around on clouds and smiling all the time for how blessed I am. But alas, I recognize the unkind attitude towards myself and a ‘should’ expectation that really has no bearing on reality. I’m in a funk. I’m blah. It won’t last. Perhaps at the end of winter by body is preparing for spring. 

So, I’m taking steps to make sure my chemicals, nutrition, movement, and sleep are more balanced. I’m taking some time to be still and listen. And most importantly, I’m watching those nasty thoughts that try to beat me up and replace them with loving patient ones. I’m accepting what is and trying to create from there. It’s a waste of my energy trying to be in a space i’m not. However, it is always worth my energy to change my perspective towards the direction I want to go.

 

Posted on March 15, 2011 by Keli · 0 comments Read More
words unfolding

The Details Don’t Matter

Please God, help me let go of this anger and jealousy.
Please God, help me let go of this anger and jealousy.
Please God, help me let go of this anger and jealousy.
Please God, help me let go of this anger and jealousy.
Please God, help me let go of this anger and jealousy.
Please God, help me let go of this anger and jealousy.
Please God, help me let go of this anger and jealousy.

I found myself becoming aware of this prayer I was repeating the other night when I was feeling full of negativety. I was lying in bed and my heart was racing and I was so uncomfortable. First I was surprised I was praying, since that is new to me, then I was glad that my higher-self wanted these ugly feelings away from my heart.

I slowly felt calmer and calmer. I then thought of love and joy and tried to replace those ugly feelings with some good stuff. I finally fell asleep and I’m sure I was grateful.

It’s been a tough week on and off. I am still giving too much of my power away to my ex. I have these internal battles where I’m trying to really take hold of things that I feel are not right for me in a relationship and admit it, take hold, and say it’s ok, I want it to be different. I put too much faith and hope in someone else’s opinions of knowing right answers or truth. Logically I know that there is not only one answer or one truth and that we each have our own paths, but emotionally I get stuck here sometimes. I put too much heart into believing that what she says is best and I’m having a difficult time breaking from it because I then get these feelings like I’m going to dissapoint her or hurt her. 

The process i’m going through feels like it’s shattering some of the image I have of her and of us and I guess part of me doesn’t want to let it go. 

I miss her – the good and the bad. Sometimes it’s just as simple as that.

I want to reach out to her and say please be more flexible so that people can get close to you. Don’t hide behind walls of privacy and boundaries. But I can’t, so I just send her love from my heart. 

I am taking space. I’m not sure for how long. I’ve been tested with the idea of her moving on and I’m not ready for that. I’M not ready and I know I won’t be a kind, loving, supportive friend, so I have to back away. 

It’s all so complicated and yet simple. It’s not rocket science that two people usual part ways after they break up even if they want to stay friends. At least for a period of time. It’s just that I was finally able to start sharing space with her in such a freeing way that I was hoping to stay on that path. I know I’ll get there, when I am ready. I still have more work to do. 

Perhaps that’s the biggest lesson for me right now with all these battles. I need to understand the lessons of this relationship, but more importantly I don’t need to get hung up on the details. Even if I want her to explain certain things to me about past circumstances, I have to accept if she doesn’t want to. None of those things matter any more. The details don’t matter. 

Finding forgiveness for myself, for her, and letting it all go. All of it. If life’s plan is for us to be in each other’s lives, we will. I have to trust that. Life always gives me what I need when I need it. 

Posted on March 3, 2011 by Keli · 0 comments Read More
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